Closeness to the Sugar Baby
Closeness to the Sugar Baby
A sugar daddy's thoughts / closeness to the sugar baby / being a sugar daddy = independent or dependent?
Here I am sitting at my desk and I have no idea what's happening to me. That I'm incapable of commitment, I've known for years. But I can't really let myself accept that I'm supposed to be a sugar daddy. Sure, I go out regularly with Mona, my sugar baby. Yes, we sleep together... the way I imagine it. She wears clothes that I pay for. And yes, the age gap of almost 25 years is pretty "wild," as my son would say... I genuinely enjoy the closeness to the sugar baby. Her aura, her body, her way.But what's between us is anything but love. It was never supposed to be, at least not when we set the terms 2 years ago. ...okay, it was my condition! A condition I set for myself as protection, so as not to let the closeness to the sugar baby get too deep under my skin.
Closeness to the sugar baby
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Closeness to the sugar baby[/caption]
Trust, responsibility, dependence and above all closeness to the sugar baby were things I had long since sworn off. Never again reveal so much of myself to a woman, never again do what a woman demands of me. Never again allow love. And certainly never let the closeness to the sugar baby become too much. Never again!
With my "sugar baby" everything was perfect. By skillfully balancing distance and closeness to the sugar baby, I made her dependent on me. On me, the successful real estate shark who makes everything possible for her. Until yesterday I thought that if she ever stopped toeing the line, the usual remark "then I'll find a new one!" would be enough to get the closeness to the sugar baby back. At least that's what I thought.And now this! Here I am sitting at my desk and I don't know what's happening to me. Seeing her changed status on Facebook. From single to "in a relationship." With whom? With me? Never! The messages I sent her in my head should never be sent. What is this feeling inside me. The closeness to the sugar baby that no longer exists?
I would describe the closeness to the sugar baby, which now probably belongs to the past, as a mix of dependence and a little jealousy.Will my greatest fear, the closeness to the sugar baby, now be what breaks my neck?